What I Know For Sure || Post-Grad Edition

"Legacy. What is a legacy? It's planting seeds in a garden you never get to see." -Lin-Manuel Miranda

I don't watch much daytime TV anymore.  Not that I ever did, really.  Sometimes during college (aka when I had a TV in my room & not the common space) I would watch the Today Show while getting dressed for the day.  It was the perfect balance of great lifestyle tips and daily news, and it was usually where I got my pop culture fix for the day.  Then senior year before (what was supposed to be) a big hurricane, I took the TV from my room and put it into the living room so that my roommates and I could have a movie party while simultaneously eating M&M's and watching the weather.  Well, the hurricane never hit, but the TV stayed in place, and it seemed to be the glue that drew us to spend time in the living room senior year rather than cooped up in our bedrooms.

I caught up with this lovely lady last night, who also happened to be my roommate sophomore year.  We went into the year having only met two or three times, usually in passing, and over the year became really great friends.  Despite the occasional scuffle or two (no friendship is perfect), we managed to create a relationship based on trust and respect, and she is one of the people I have kept most in contact with since graduation.  She is also one of the people I credit with helping me "get out of my shell."  We didn't talk for long - just a catch-up call really; one of those phone calls you can have at 10:00 on a Wednesday night because you're 22 and still (somewhat) fresh out of college and working/studying hours that still let you have somewhat of a normal life.  We talked about life, the paths we are taking in our new cities, and the subject of undergrad came up.  I don't know what I was expecting, but what I certainly didn't think I would hear her say was what came out.  "I don't really miss undergrad," she said as my jaw basically dropped to the floor.  "Yeah, I miss certain things here and there, and there are times I still feel like I am there, but in all honesty, I'm pretty happy where I am."  We talked for a little bit longer before heading to bed way earlier than we ever did as college students, and I got thinking, which of course led me to a blog post.

Back to my original statement about daytime TV - I don't watch it much anymore, but there are times I see clips of it on websites I spend way too much time on lately (cough cough YOUTUBE cough cough).  Recently over the summer when I was in the middle of a reincarnated love for Harry Potter, I came across an interview between JK Rowling and Oprah, who asked her to make a statement for a segment which she calls What I Know For Sure.  I didn't think much of it - I think she said something about love - until this past week when I saw the book inspired by Oprah's What I Know For Sure segment.  I didn't buy the book, but I saw it as one of those mysterious universal signs which I use as inspiration to write a blog post.  With that, here goes "What I Know For Sure," Post-Grad Edition...

What I Know For Sure (About Post-Grad) Is: 

Just as sure as the seasons change with the passing months, so do people, and they continue to do so throughout their lives.  You never quite know how fast or slow these changes happen or to whom they may occur, but changes do happen.  Just as I changed from the shy freshman girl without a roommate first semester to a passionate & involved student senior year to now being in grad school, so did the two sweet freshmen friends I drove home for Thanksgiving break junior year blossom into leaders taking charge and making change in the student organizations that I was once part of.

It's okay to miss home.  I found home at University of Miami, and saying goodbye to a place that saw me change so much was one of the most difficult challenges in my young life.  Throughout college I saw excited alumni return, which often confused me because I always thought there would be something great coming next - new school, new job, new opportunities.  When presented with the opportunity to pack up and move to DC in order to attend my dream school, I didn't hesitate once.  Then once I got here, I found myself longing for "home."  But home isn't Miami anymore, and it's taken me quite some time to accept that.  A part of me longs to return to the days sitting sunkissed by the lake in a glider at the Rat with a pitcher of sangria before a senate meeting.  Part of me wishes that I could still be there, being involved, being surrounded by thousands of familiar faces, and sometimes even being forced to sign in for a Greek Week event.  But as much as I miss it, I want to try all that harder to make DC my home, and it is becoming home slowly but surely.  It just takes time.

I am doing enough.  As much as I loved college (and you know by now how much I loved college), there are bits and pieces of it that I can breathe a sigh of relief in knowing they are over.  One of those bits - student involvement.  Of course we all go to college to get a good education that prepares us for the futures and sets us on the paths for the rest of our lives.  But class and homework only take so much time out of our week, and thus the student organizations fall in.  As a freshman they kind of come to you all at once like an avalanche, and you try to pull yourself up from the snow in order to see what's right in front of you.  And as you progress, you get more involved, and the organizations take over your life.  And then there's the awards.  And the pressure to do more.  And the honor societies.  And the pressure to do more.  And the graduation cords and trophies and certificates and plaques.  And there's no more pressure to do more because oh wait, it's graduation day, and suddenly it's all over.  I often vent to my friends and parents that I don't feel like I'm doing enough, and that the activities on campus at my school are for undergrads, and everything else is for adults, and I have no idea where I fit in.  But then I hear from one of my most involved college friends that that is enough.  That you get to adulthood, and a job, and a life without those involvements.  And after some time, they start to fade away.  Even faster than taking high school accomplishments off your resume do college achievements start to fade away as well.  And it's okay.  Then you start to realize that it's okay to be selfish; it's okay to take a break; it's okay to NOT DO ANYTHING AT ALL.  Post-grad is the time to do that and discover who you are, no pressure required.

One of my college role models turned best friends.

Treat everyone as equals.  This should go without saying, but I have found it even more helpful in the context of putting people on the so-called "pedestal."  I remember as a freshman being in awe of all the juniors and seniors who were so involved and inspired me to do the same.  I idolized quite a few and often found I would treat them as higher-ups or see them as celebrities, rather than my classmates or peers.  I continued to do this until the second semester of my senior year, when I saw my younger classmates thrust onto the so-called pedestal and wondered where my time had gone.  This came up in a conversation I recently had with a camp friend, who gave me a new perspective on the situation: "When we were campers, we thought that there were no better counselors than UA's.  It was what we saw was the 'best' per se, because of all the rights and privileges that came out of it.  But then you reach a point where you realize you can't go any higher than where you are, or you have to move on, and someone else is thrust in that limelight, doing the job that we once saw as admirable.  Sure, it's harder seeing someone younger doing the job that we once wanted to, but it doesn't make the job any less prestigious or important.  Our time has come and gone, but theirs is just beginning."  So, yes, while it is important to have role models and idols, it is even more important to focus on building those relationships with your mentors because they are what make you better and stronger.  And, you never know who puts you on a pedestal and sees you as an idol, so it is just as important to spread the love and build relationships with everyone.  After all, the one thing we do have in common is our degrees from the same school. 

I want to end on a lighter, happier note, kind of something I've learned "for sure" but also a conclusion to my mindless thoughts.  Recently I've become a late bloomer to the Hamilton phenomenon after listening to the whole soundtrack for the first time just this past month.  Lin-Manuel Miranda probably wasn't thinking about me when he wrote "The World Was Wide Enough," but he probably had to consider the fact that it would draw some comparison to the world we live in today.  And if there's anything I've learned "for sure" it's that I left my legacy at University of Miami.  I did what I did, I accomplished what I accomplished, and I am proud of the path that my life has taken me today.  I am thankful for the opportunities I had, the students who I got to work with, and the different kinds of people I met along the way.  I smile in knowing that I planted my seeds there and look forward to one day seeing the garden that will change the lives of others, just as it once changed me.